I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
where does the pee come out of this thing
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
