My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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