1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
