then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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