there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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