I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So here I am, sexting at work.
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