Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
