Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
