how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
