ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
organizing the empties. That sober.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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