Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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