she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
