I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
