Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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