His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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