she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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