Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
