any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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