Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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