Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
