There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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