no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
