All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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