Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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