never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
