i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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