We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
