Swine flu. Run for my life!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
