We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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