So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
