I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
