I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i would punch a child for taco bell
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Randomize
