No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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