I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
we're so committed to being not committed
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