You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
