she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
