To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
