Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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