so that wasnt chicken after all
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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