Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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