I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
