am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
