wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
