Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
