Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
