we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
