So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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