He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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