Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
