Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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