So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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