dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
