that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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