READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
