See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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