it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
