I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
