I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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