He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
