i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
this hospital has no fireball
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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